Several years ago, my world was irreversibly shattered. I lost my husband, my partner of over two decades, and the person I imagined growing old with. Grief swept in like a tidal wave, leaving me adrift and unmoored. It wasn’t just the pain of losing him—but also losing who I thought I was. Life carried on around me, but I felt stuck, frozen in time.
For a while, I lived on autopilot. I did what was necessary to survive, but I wasn’t truly alive. My body felt rigid, like it was weighed down by grief. My thoughts were relentless, and sadness would sneak up on me in the most ordinary moments. It felt like I was disconnected from the world, and, more importantly, from myself. I didn’t know how to reclaim my sense of being, my spark, or my vitality. But, as with so many of life’s transformations, healing came one small step at a time.
A Path to Breath and Vitality
My healing really began with yoga. I started attending classes where gentle movement and the focus on breath provided some relief from the heaviness in my heart. At first, it didn’t feel life-changing. It was subtle, almost imperceptible. But over time, those moments on the mat became a refuge. I wasn’t just stretching or moving; I was breathing in a way that felt… intentional. And that intention began to carry over into my days.
From there, I began using breathwork as its own standalone practice, separate from yoga. It became a way to center myself in the present, especially on the hard days when grief surged unexpectedly. Breathing wasn’t just about survival anymore; it became my grounding tool, a way to calm my racing thoughts and quiet my anxious heart.
But there was a shift yet to come. At some point along the way, I encountered the powerful combination of sound and breathwork. There’s something almost mystical about the way your breath works with sound frequencies; it felt like the door to a hidden part of myself had swung open. This wasn’t just calming; it was invigorating. Through this blending of sound and breath, I accessed parts of me I thought were lost forever. I felt alive in a way I hadn’t for years.
Lessons from My Journey
Now, as a SOMA Breath instructor actively working towards my Master level certification, I have the privilege of sharing this transformational practice with others. It’s been a deeply personal and universal experience, and there are a few lessons I’ve drawn from this path that I’d like to share:
- Start Where You Are
Healing often doesn’t start with groundbreaking revelations. For me, it began with attending that first yoga class, even when leaving the house felt monumental. It’s those small first steps that inch us toward something greater. - Your Breath is a Bridge
Breathwork is simple yet profound. It’s a direct line to your nervous system, your emotions, and, ultimately, your inner self. Even just spending a few minutes a day focused on deep, conscious breathing can create shifts in how you feel. - Grace Over Perfection
Healing isn’t linear. There are still tough days, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to stumble, to rest, and to move at your own pace. Every moment you choose self-care is part of your progression. - The Power of Sound and Breath Together
Adding sound to my breath practice expanded my experience beyond anything I thought possible. Start by listening to simple, soothing tones during your breathwork and notice how much more connected you feel.
From Surviving to Thriving
Looking back now, I can see a clear line between the person I was then and who I am today. I’m not the same woman I was before I lost my husband, and I never will be. But I’ve found strength, clarity, and vitality I hadn’t imagined could exist after such profound grief. My breath became my lifeline, my way back to myself, and my way forward into something new.
If you’re in the depths of your own pain, I want you to know this: change is possible. Healing is possible. And while it may start as a whisper, barely noticeable, with time and care, it can grow into something that transforms your life.
Above all, please take it one breath at a time. You’re not alone. And, if you’re ready, you have the power to find your way back to vitality. I’m here to guide you if you’d like to explore this path together.
If someone told me a few years ago that simply breathing could transform my energy, I probably would have laughed. But I’ve learned that sometimes the most impactful tools are the simplest. Breathwork became a lifeline for me during one of the hardest seasons of my life, and I want to share why it might just be the tool you need, too.
What Is Breathwork, Really?
At its core, breathwork is the practice of consciously controlling your breathing to influence your physical, emotional, and mental state. Unlike shallow, unconscious breaths—which often dominate when we’re stressed or overwhelmed—breathwork invites us to slow down, breathe deeply, and recalibrate.
The beauty of breathwork is that it’s accessible to everyone. It doesn’t require equipment, experience, or hours of time. And the effects can be felt almost immediately.
How Breathwork Showed Me the Path to Calm
I remember one particularly difficult morning. I woke up feeling irritable and emotionally drained, with a to-do list that felt endless. Instead of pushing through like always, I decided to try something new. I sat down on my mat, closed my eyes, and started a simple breathing pattern I had recently learned. Slowly, I inhaled for a count of four, held my breath for four counts, and exhaled slowly for six counts.
By the end of that short session, something had shifted. The tension in my shoulders had softened. My mind, once racing, felt quieter. It didn’t fix all my problems, but it gave me the clarity and energy to move forward with my day.
Quick Breathwork Exercise You Can Try
This exercise is one I recommend to anyone who’s feeling drained or overwhelmed:
- Find a quiet space where you can sit comfortably. Close your eyes and relax your shoulders.
- Place one hand on your belly and one hand on your chest.
- Breathe in deeply through your nose for a count of 4, letting your belly expand.
- Hold the breath for 4 counts.
- Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 6, feeling your body relax.
Repeat this cycle for 5-10 minutes. Notice how your shoulders feel lighter, your mind less cluttered. Breathwork allows you to reset, re-center, and reconnect, no matter what’s happening around you.
The Shift Breathwork Can Create
Practicing breathwork isn’t about perfection. It’s a gentle invitation to pause, reconnect, and reset. Whether it’s your morning ritual, a mid-day pick-me-up, or an evening wind-down, your breath is always available to guide you back to calm. If you’re curious to deepen your practice, I’m here to guide you every step of the way.
When was the last time you felt truly like you?
Not the you that goes through the motions of a busy day or is constantly pouring energy into others, but the version of you that feels alive, capable, and unstoppable?
For years, I put my focus everywhere except on myself. I prioritized work, family, and the endless to-do list. Slowly, I lost pieces of the vibrant, powerful person I used to be. I would stare at my reflection in the mirror and think, “Who is this person? Will I ever feel like myself again?” The truth was, I hadn’t disappeared. I was still there. I just needed a way to rediscover me.
Why We Drift Away From Ourselves
Disconnection can happen so gradually that we barely notice it. Maybe you’re juggling all the roles society asks of you—a strong partner, a dedicated parent, a high performer at work. Or maybe life has thrown you challenges that have rocked your self-belief. Little by little, these responsibilities and struggles dim the light inside you. And before long, you’re functioning, but not thriving.
I’ve been there, too, and I know the shame that can come with feeling “off” when everything in your life looks fine from the outside. But here’s what I need you to hear loud and clear today. You don’t have to settle for this. You are still capable of feeling joy, confidence, and energy.
Practical Steps to Reclaim the Radiant You
Here are three powerful habits that helped me reconnect with myself, and I know they can help you too:
- Create Stillness in Your Day
I used to think productivity meant racing through my day without stopping. But transformation happens in the moments you pause. Start small. Maybe it’s two minutes of sitting in silence with your morning coffee or 60 seconds of deep breathing before a meeting. These pauses are invitations to reconnect with yourself. - Celebrate Progress Over Perfection
I used to beat myself up for not making massive leaps. But you don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Every small step you take toward your well-being matters. Did you step outside for fresh air today? Did you take three deep breaths and ground yourself? Those moments count. Start noticing and celebrating your small wins. - Write a Vision for the You You Want to See
Visualization is incredibly powerful. Grab a pen and paper and write about your future self. How do you want to feel daily? How does the most confident, strong version of you show up? Put it somewhere you’ll see it often. Even on hard days, it will serve as a reminder of your potential.
The radiant, powerful you is not lost. She is still within you, waiting patiently for you to turn inward and reconnect. Start with one small step today, and watch how it grows.
