Your Free Guide

Your Shadow's Bargain.


A long time ago, you made a bargain with yourself. You do not remember signing it. You are still living by its terms. Read the contract, and the pattern stops being a mystery.

Your Shadow's Bargain Guide
Before You Begin

Read it once. Then sit with it.

This is not a worksheet. It is a contract you did not know you signed. What it asks of you is honesty, not time.

Find a quiet room. A pen. A piece of paper. Your phone face down.

The pattern is not the problem. The bargain underneath it is.

The Six Clauses

Every repeating pattern is a contract with hidden terms.

You have tried to think your way out. You have read the books. You have done the work. And still, the same kind of partner. The same money ceiling. The same small voice that tells you not to ask for more.

The pattern is not broken. It is functioning. It is keeping the terms of a bargain you made before you had language for it. Read the clauses. The one that tightens your chest is the one still in force.

The Contract Clauses
The Right Clause
If I stay angry, I do not have to grieve.
The Small Clause
If I do not take up space, I cannot be rejected.
The Needed Clause
If I am useful, I do not have to be loved for who I am.
The Control Clause
If I manage everything, no one can surprise me.
The Endurance Clause
If I keep coping, I never have to ask for what I want.
The Unseen Clause
If no one looks closely, no one will leave.

Read the clauses again. Slowly. The one that makes your chest tighten is the one you signed. That is not a coincidence. That is the body answering before the mind can edit.

The Body-Based Practice

Begin to renegotiate the bargain.

A few minutes. Do not skip it. This is where naming becomes feeling, and feeling becomes movement.

ONE
Sit. Feet flat. Close your eyes. Bring the repeating pattern to mind. Not the story. The feeling.
TWO
Locate it in your body. Chest. Throat. Belly. Jaw. Do not label it. Just find it.
THREE
Breathe into that place. Slow inhale through the nose. Long exhale through the mouth. Five rounds.
FOUR
Ask that place one question. What clause am I keeping by holding this in place? Listen for the first word that arrives.
FIVE
Place a hand over the spot. Say out loud, I see the bargain. I do not need its terms the way I once did. Breathe again. Notice if the place softens, warms, opens, or moves. That is the renegotiation beginning.

Do not rush to interpret it. Let it keep speaking.

Your Shadow's Bargain Guide
Download Ready

Here is your guide. Save it and come back to it whenever the pattern returns.


This page is for direct access to the guide, so there is no opt-in here. Download the PDF below and keep it nearby for the moments you want to read the clauses again with fresh eyes.

When You Are Ready

Excavate and Exhale


The guide can name the clause. The practice can begin to loosen it. What they cannot do is sit with you while the deeper layer comes up to be seen.

Excavate and Exhale is a private two-part experience. The Energy Leadership Index assessment pairs with a somatic breathwork session, so the bargain is met in the body as well as on the page. When something in you is ready, the door is open.

Di Bari Coaching